Overblog
Editer l'article Suivre ce blog Administration + Créer mon blog

Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)

Publié le par Kevin

Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)
Oliver and Perlman's fascination for the male body brought them to forget that a body is someone.

Oliver and Perlman's fascination for the male body brought them to forget that a body is someone.

The fact that Call Me By Your Name should be so widely perceived as a beautiful romance is absolutely terrifying.

---Not because Oliver and Elio are men. Not because there’s an age gap. Not because Elio is sad at the end of the film and Oliver marries someone else--

Because this story is flatly NOT the one of a love story and there’s absolutely NOTHING beautiful about what happens in this movie, that is the destruction of a 17 years old kid by two crazy parents and a morbidly narcissistic man.

Here's a review that perceives the film as being about an abusive relationship and not a love story.

 

(Edit: In order to make things clear: a beautiful love story between a 17ish and a 24ish man that they keep secret for fear they might be judged for it, is beautiful. I'm not denying the possibility. I'm just saying it's not the case here.)

 

The Perlmans have been coming in their beautiful villa in the north of Italy for ages. Elio has known Marzia for ages. They both slowly developed feelings for each other (real, healthy ones, even if I believe Elio was more interested in Chiara) and it is only natural that on this 1983 summer they should have formed a couple and had their first love and sex experiences together.

The problem is that Elio's homosexual father is married to a heterosexual woman but they raise their kid as if they were both heterosexual. 

It’s very important to realise that if Call Me By Your Name was about some kind of secret and forbidden love story, it would have made no sense to make Elio’s father a homosexual.

Applaud the post-traumatic propanga. "What you had with Oliver was beautiful. Marzia is meaningless. I've always hated the little slut... but Oliver ? Damn I would have banged him hard." "Dad, you do realise that I'm not you ?" "I do, but could you call me by your name son ? Just once."

Applaud the post-traumatic propanga. "What you had with Oliver was beautiful. Marzia is meaningless. I've always hated the little slut... but Oliver ? Damn I would have banged him hard." "Dad, you do realise that I'm not you ?" "I do, but could you call me by your name son ? Just once."

Mr Perlman is homosexual, and Mrs. Perlman always has a lit cigarette in her hand: she is frustrated sexually***.  The direct consequence of that is that she’s developed a peculiar relationship with her son (slightly/borderline incestuous).

*** It's my fourteenth clue of a subtext.

And here you have a father who wants to vicariously get his wasted youth back through his son, and a mother who doesn’t want to see him grow up and go to another woman.

This woman takes initiatives to have her 17 year old boy get sodomized by a 7 years older stranger. And by "takes initiatives" I mean that she is probably picturing it in these shots, and it arrouses her. (sorry for the crudeness of these claims).
This woman takes initiatives to have her 17 year old boy get sodomized by a 7 years older stranger. And by "takes initiatives" I mean that she is probably picturing it in these shots, and it arrouses her. (sorry for the crudeness of these claims).

This woman takes initiatives to have her 17 year old boy get sodomized by a 7 years older stranger. And by "takes initiatives" I mean that she is probably picturing it in these shots, and it arrouses her. (sorry for the crudeness of these claims).

How healthy does this sound to you ? Not much, does it ?

Perlman has a student spend six weeks with them in order to work on his PhD. Where does the guy sleep ? In Elio’s bed. Could this have been more symbolic ? They put a man in their son’s bed. (Edit: Actually this is even more meaningful than I thought it was. Putting Oliver in Elio's bed means 2 things: 1-They want Elio to have sex with Oliver  2-They want Oliver to be their son).

Not only do they destroy his privacy by doing so, but the movie makes the meaning of this even more obvious by putting Marzia in Elio’s bed at the beginning of the film and by making her react exactly as if she knew what was to happen. She’s worried. She leaves without explaining why. She’s quite cold with Oliver.

This bed was the bed in which Marzia and Elio should have made love for the first time of their lives... if Elio's parents hadn't been psychopaths. They'll end up in the attic ! The place of forbidden, shameful, monstrous secret things !

This bed was the bed in which Marzia and Elio should have made love for the first time of their lives... if Elio's parents hadn't been psychopaths. They'll end up in the attic ! The place of forbidden, shameful, monstrous secret things !

First word of the movie "Ursupateur." Elio knows what to expect from Oliver and at the same time he mispronounces the word.

First word of the movie "Ursupateur." Elio knows what to expect from Oliver and at the same time he mispronounces the word.

She is perfectly aware that putting a man in Elio’s room is telling her to clear off and stay away.

And so the farce starts. Elio doesn’t like Oliver, for perfectly justifiable reasons: Oliver is arrogant. (Elio at 16min40s). But strangely enough, both his father and his mother are going to defend the American, worse, they are subtly going to forbid their son from disliking him.

You’re amongst intellectuals here, the violence is a lot more subtle and a lot more pervasive.

Very simply, Elio is influenced by his parents. Vexed by their enthusiasm towards Oliver, he is going to try and prove himself that he can “seduce” the man, not in a romantic way, but in the sense that he is going to want his skills to be acknowledged by him.

The “apricot etymology” scene is quite meaningful.

Both Annella and M. Perlman (the father who has no name), fancy Oliver and they know it. Oliver corrects Perlman on the topic of the etymology of the word “apricot” and emasculates him symbolically. Elio witnesses his dad getting emasculated in front of his mother, and nobody seems to mind. Elio witnesses his dad acknowledging the fact that Annella should be more attracted to Oliver than himself… that which is perfectly understandable as Perlman is homosexual and doesn’t care about being attractive in the eyes of Annella. But what’s important here, is that Elio doesn’t know about all this and thus assimilates Oliver as a superior man to his dad. For a boy who is entangled in an (non-consummated) incestuous relationship with his mother, it means a lot.

"You were trying to show off the power you have over me Mr Perlman, let me ridicule you and show off in return."

"You were trying to show off the power you have over me Mr Perlman, let me ridicule you and show off in return."

And thus it carries on. Elio becomes irrepressibly drawn to the idea of seducing Oliver, not because he is in love with him but because the situation messes him up. He is looking for his parent’s recognition; he is looking for psychological stability.  

This goes hand in hand with the very morbid title of the movie: Call Me By Your Name. No love story can revolve around the idea that the two lovers can swap their positions/identities. Love is other orientated; otherwise it’s a narcissistic psychopath who is devouring a prey.

Elio wants to be Oliver because he is firmly convinced that his parents wished that he were Oliver… because both these idiots are attracted sexually to the student and Elio cannot know that, he thinks he is in a normal family. And he doesn’t even know what sex and sexuality are yet.

Elio discovering himself homosexual isn’t a coming of age story, it’s an alienation. Elio is heterosexual. He is a heterosexual kid forced into a homosexual relationship with a pervert manipulator in order to correspond to his parents’ expectations and desires.

They finally had sex. Elio is disturbed and ANGRY about something he will never say. How romantic.

They finally had sex. Elio is disturbed and ANGRY about something he will never say. How romantic.

They go for a romantic post-sex swim. Yep, there's about a mile between them. What a beautiful love story.

They go for a romantic post-sex swim. Yep, there's about a mile between them. What a beautiful love story.

If you look closely at Oliver’s behaviour you’ll spot several things:

First, the older student subtly rebukes Elio a few times so that the teenage boy has to work to get his approval back.

Oliver never lets Elio know what he does. He appears and disappears randomly. He lets the boy worry, letting someone worry is a way of forcing someone to think of you, and to force someone to mistake worries with feelings. Being scared of having someone angry at you doesn't mean you love that person. Even less when that person is associated with your parents' approval of yourself.

Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)

Elio never worries about Marzia. Not because he doesn’t like her, but because he knows where he stands when it comes to her.

Oliver answers a message from Elio with “grow up.” Everything is said about the morbidity of their relationship in these two words. If you’re fu***ng flirting with a kid, the last thing you should allow yourself to say is “grow up.” What about you date someone your own age ? Also, the note he got from Elio was already a very disciplined version of an “over-the-top” one. Imagine how Elio must feel when he reads this “grow up” as an answer to the most mature thing he could have written.

Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)
Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)

After they’ve made love, Elio doesn’t feel enthusiastic or elated. He becomes depressed and avoids Oliver. That’s not what would have happened with Marzia. Because he’s happy with Marzia. You remember Marzia ? Elio's super nice and smiley girlfriend ? What about the fact that Oliver never asks anything about her ? Explain to me how that doesn’t make him a worthless individual not to tell Elio that he cannot accept to make love with a girl who’s in love with him while they’re having their own little secret story. Explain to me why he gets a pass at having zero consideration for anybody and that's fine.

Oliver destroys Elio and what he indirectly inflicts Marzia is extremely serious too. The fact that he should never talk about it doesn't make him innocent.

Another Creepy moment is when they are again swimming but the teenager is also writing music. Oliver asks "what are you thinking about," he has this desire to be in the boy's head. Elio answers "it's private", Oliver counter-attacks "then i'll go see your mum." It's so subtle that you can hardly see how this could be any violent. Still, Elio jumps out of the water, nearly destroying his notebook, and pushes Oliver away from his mum: the kid is scared of seeing Oliver take his place or take his father's place. These dynamics are very serious, and Annella reinforces them by always taking Oliver's side. Elio will call her a witch at some point, for no obvious reason.

Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)
Oliver's threat sounds like a joke, the thing is, it totally works on Elio.
Oliver's threat sounds like a joke, the thing is, it totally works on Elio.

Oliver's threat sounds like a joke, the thing is, it totally works on Elio.

Also, at the end of the movie, there's this beautiful moment when Elio guesses that Oliver called to tell him that he is going to marry. Why would he guess ? Because deep down he knows that the whole story is a lie. He knows that Oliver is a sadistic man who revels in destroying him. 

And destroying the boy he does, through a constant "attention back-and-forth." For example, at the end when they spend a week together. Oliver flirts with Elio in the street, brings him to a kiss but then suddenly withdraws himself and runs away because he "heard music." The purpose of this is only to make Elio feel how powerless he is in front of his attraction while Oliver is entirely independant from him.

Also, he already did this to Elio several times. Earlier, it was because they were in public that he couldn't kiss the boy.

This doesn't exist in the world of passionate love. This doesn't exist in the world of love. This doesn't exist in the world of respect. This only exists in the world of manipulation, cruelty and sadism. You cannot choose to see a love story in this movie, there isn't one. This doesn't exist in the world of passionate love. This doesn't exist in the world of love. This doesn't exist in the world of respect. This only exists in the world of manipulation, cruelty and sadism. You cannot choose to see a love story in this movie, there isn't one.

This doesn't exist in the world of passionate love. This doesn't exist in the world of love. This doesn't exist in the world of respect. This only exists in the world of manipulation, cruelty and sadism. You cannot choose to see a love story in this movie, there isn't one.

The music comes from the radio of a car. For no reason, Oliver starts dancing and flirting with a woman. And he ends up asking Elio to translate what she says. He is asking his lover to partake into his flirting with a woman. Pure initiative of a psychopath who revels into destroying people.

Their relationship is never about love, but about ego. Oliver devours Elio's ego, like he would bite into a fruit.

The "later" trick is absolutely fascinating and is very revealing. Elio explains that he finds Oliver's "Later" arrogant. Why does he raise this point ? Because Oliver vexed him on their first bike trip by suddenly ditching him with a "later." Of course, everybody tells Elio that he is imagining things, there's nothing wrong with "later." And thus, the boy is brought to believe that the reason why he was vexed is because he didn't want Oliver to go, he didn't like to be dismissed by Oliver, because... he has feelings for him ? 

It sounds far-fetched doesn't it ? I wish I could snap my fingers and make people realize how much this is common. This is basic manipulation. Because, of course, Oliver purposely left just a little bit too suddenly. He truly was impolite. He totally measured the impact of his behavior on the kid. 

Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)

There are two things that I find particularly vicious in all this and it's when Oliver tastes Elio's sperm and gives him a short fellatio. Both these degrading initiatives convey the feeling that Oliver truly isn't in a dominating position, they're like a "look at what you make me do ! I'm obviously not in control."

Except that they're exactly the kind of initiatives in which a manipulator revels. They are not degrading for him, on the contrary they are gratifying in that he can witness the huge impact these have on Elio. When he sucks the boy off, he does so because he's worried of having lost a bit of his influence.

Desperate move to show Elio that he can give him an erection, after the failed attempt of the previous evening.

Desperate move to show Elio that he can give him an erection, after the failed attempt of the previous evening.

So he does this, authoritatively, five seconds. A pure pathological initiative of manipulation that is going to confuse Elio entirely. 

It's not something emotional, it's not a joke, it's not a request, it's not a display of physical attraction, it's a pure "Oliver pulling a string." And that kind of behavior is specifically the one of a psychopath.

It's the same thing with his desire to hear the real Bach version of what Elio is playing on the piano. Or with the "it's the kindest thing I've been told in weeks." All lies perfectly used in order to obtain a specific answer from Elio.

"I would kiss you if I could." Except that he perfectly can at that moment. And he is supposed to say this line as an expression of his happiness to see Elio, but says it like a robot. No kiss, no warmth, just seduction and the disembodied information: "I'm happy that you came." Pure string pulling.

"I would kiss you if I could." Except that he perfectly can at that moment. And he is supposed to say this line as an expression of his happiness to see Elio, but says it like a robot. No kiss, no warmth, just seduction and the disembodied information: "I'm happy that you came." Pure string pulling.

Also, what about the fact that the freer Elio and Oliver are to enjoy their relationship, the more Elio obviously collapses as an individual.

The "sperm tasting" is very subtle in that it's hard to see it as a sexual abuse or aggression when it totally is. Elio is shocked by Oliver's behaviour, and he feels violated, and ends up completely falling appart psychologically. It's not love. it's not harmony. it's not appreciation. It's a confident man abusing a fragile and desoriented boy.

The "sperm tasting" is very subtle in that it's hard to see it as a sexual abuse or aggression when it totally is. Elio is shocked by Oliver's behaviour, and he feels violated, and ends up completely falling appart psychologically. It's not love. it's not harmony. it's not appreciation. It's a confident man abusing a fragile and desoriented boy.

There was a love story in this movie, it was between Marzia and Elio and it transformed into a nightmare.

Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)
Call Me By Your Name: Oliver is a manipulator (1300 words)

Commenter cet article

Anto 14/06/2020 05:10

Bruh this is homophobia not an opinon

Kevin 14/06/2020 07:27

What a disgusting comment.

One, my article isn't homophobic go fuck yourself.
Two, I knew when writing it that abysmally stupid people like you would jump on this wonderful occasion to call someone homophobic. You should learn to check why you're speaking and whether you truly have something to say (not mindlessly echo) before opening your mouth.
And three, this "this is not an opinion" is the celebration of fascism in a nutshell and I'm sure you're convinced that you're the good libertarian while you tell me it's forbidden for me to say something because "that's not an opinion, it's something forbidden."
Really this sentence structure sounds exactly like it was taken from a dystopian classic.

"John looked at Emma, he was tired of all these interdictions.
- Emma, I don't want to go the church of the absolute today. Why should we stay five hours every day listening to the same things over and over !
- But John. You can't say that ! That's heresy, that's not an opinion !"

And I'm serious, you're the mindless citizen from dystopian books. Time to grow a brain.
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (1932)
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell (1949)
This Perfect Day (1970)

Rachel 05/05/2020 05:16

I find it hilarous how any opinion other than your own is disreguarded. Not surprising, just hilarious.

Kevin 05/05/2020 06:05

Low, dishonest and childish.
I've answered a lot of comments in length, I'm just tired of doing it, the article is two years old and isn't the most important thing in my life at all. And I'm still 100% convinced of what I write in my articles about the movie.
Also, learn the meaning of the word hilarious.
So please, do disregard my opinion and move on. I don't mind at all. I'm not trying to convince the world.

CMBYN expert 02/04/2020 09:56

sorry about my last response idk what happened to it lmao but here was my final draft, I really want you to understand :) :
I can't tell if all of this is a joke- Literally everything is being taken out of context. Most of the quotes aren't even correct. The first time I watched the movie I understood everything, I understand if you don't really get something but I have no Idea where you got this from. Idek where to start. But PLEASE understand what I'm saying. I am referencing what the author said himself and the movie, I put a lot of research in for this movie. First of all, Elio's father isn't gay, he is just accepting of his son. He marries another woman in the next book. The mother is just very lovely, they are a nice family in general. The whole apricot scene is just Elio's father testing Oliver's intelligence, they all but Oliver expected it because like Elio said, he does it every year. If you read the movie or even the script it tells you that they let anyone into the house and they almost become like family. So it's no surprise that the family is passionate towards each other. Letting the student guess to sleep on Elio's bed is nothing new. You can tell that they do that for every student every year because of how casually Elio went along with it. Plus it Isn't always a male, like how at the end of the movie there was going to be a female next summer. Elio never hated Oliver, he was stricken by his beauty and intelligence and thought he was some sort of challenge. Elio doesn't have homophobic thoughts of himself, he is plenty comfortable with being with a male but he was nervous about Oscar. He wanted to impress him and get his attention but on the day of their first kiss Elio decided that he wasn't going to play that anymore and confront Oscar. Oscar even tried to push him away but he fell for Elio too so they got with each other. Also, Marzia was Elio's girl, but they mostly just experimented with each other and Elio even uses her to get Oliver jealous when he said that they almost slept together, and Elio used her to get his mind off of Oliver because he thought Oliver didn't like him. He even expressed that he thought Oliver hated him in his journal, and when Elio wrote “...I was too harsh when I told him I thought he hated Bach...” “What I wanted to say was that I thought he hated me...”. I would also like to mention that the reason Oliver is so distant to Elio is because he is new to his feelings for another male and he's afraid of what people will do and think of him. So Oliver does tease a bit because he really does like Elio but is afraid he doesn't have an accepting family like Elio. So Oliver is in a bit of denial and tries to distract himself with someone else for a bit, but then proceeds to put his full attention on Elio, like how Chiara flirts and asked Oliver to wait for her after the day Oliver and Elio kiss, but he leaves because wasn't really interested in her. Also, Oliver almost never interacts with Marzia, he never gets in between Elio and Marzia intentionally, what broke off Elio and Marzia was Elio himself, but they become friends again. Oliver didn't always have to tell Elio where he went all the time because they weren't that close yet. Oliver wanted to avoid Elio because, like he said, he felt like he "molested" him when he touched his shoulder to give him a sign so he wanted to keep his distance. Elio and Oliver are both bisexual, attracted to both men and woman. so your whole Elio is a homosexual is a very blind statement. When they have sex for the first time they are both in bliss and shock, this is what they both wanted. Elio isn't disturbed, he's just kind of in a "wow I can't believe we did that" sorta thing but expressed it differently, in a calm and accepting way. But Oliver on the other hand, is kind of worried but very happy. That's why they are so far apart when they are swimming, they needed some time alone to think and process. After, Oliver asked if Elio was going to blackmail him or something, because he isn't confident in this area of love with another male. And when Oliver gives Elio head, that's because Oliver wanted to make sure Elio wanted him. Later on, he asked Elio if he was tired of him because even though they've mostly been together for that night/morning, he was still always mentally attached to Elio. Elio tells him that he just wanted to be with him and Oliver says he just doesn't want Elio to regent anything because he wants them to be together. Oliver only says that he would kiss Elio because they are out in public, it's 1993, and people are around. Even though I'm happy they didn't kiss because I didn't want them to risk anything either. On their vacation, they entered the room laughing, there doesn't seem to be a specific reason, they are just happy. Not because Elio collapses as an individual (???). Out on the streets, Elio is drunk and him and Oliver take advantage of being alone together so they kiss and dance together. The reason why Oliver leaves is because he heard the song (I love) --Love My Way-- which is the song that played when Oliver was dancing solo and Elio was watching him that one party night. When Oliver sees the people and the car, he asks the lady to dance with him, just out of joy, despite him not knowing what they were saying. Elio pukes because he is drunk. That night they have sex and we see Oliver looking at Elio like he already misses him. The next day Oliver leaves, they don't say anything before because their hug says everything. Elio breaks down when he calls his mom to pick him up, and is still crying in the car. Later, Elio's father tells Elio that what he and Oliver had was like no other, something that the father may never have (but he does in the next book). At the end, Oliver calls to tell Elio and his parents that he got married. Elio guessed it as a joke but he sadly found out it was true, but he wasn't sad because he thought their relationship was fake, he was sad because Oliver couldn't be with him anymore, and the fireplace scene is all Elio trying to think of a way to say goodbye to Oliver. I hope you now understand what this novel is about, I tried to explain as much as I could. This story is not at all of what you think it is, you basically made up a whole other tragic queer love story, which is what this story isn't at all. Elio and Oliver find each other in the next book. Deflect everything I say as much as you want, but that doesn't change the real story. here's some articles for you for better understanding: (This one clears misunderstandings too) https://www.reddit.com/r/callmebyyourname/comments/7zqvn7/unpopular_opinion_it_makes_no_sense/ , https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2019/11/andre-aciman-talks-find-me-and-call-me-your-name/601060/ , https://www.mic.com/articles/186253/call-me-by-your-name-avoids-the-thing-that-hangs-over-too-many-lgbtq-films-tragedy and here's the movies script (ALL ELIO'S POV, like in the movie, just because we get other scenes of other people, doesn't avoid the fact that we are seeing what Elio's side is.): https://www.sonyclassics.com/awards-information/screenplays/callmebyyourname_screenplay-20171206.pdf (yes, I've got a lot of time on my hands with this quarantine.)

Kevin 02/04/2020 16:04

Here's yet another comment from someone who seems convinced that taking things at face value represents some kind of achievements. I saw the movie mister CMBYN expert thank you and I wrote this article in order to contradict appearances, I'm aware of what things look like.
Also, I know how to make an internet research and I've already read a lot of articles about CMBYN. My advice will be to take me and my article a thousand times more seriously than you're doing right now or to simply forget about it. I won't mind in the least.

Nicole 01/04/2020 10:11

Very interesting take indefinitely understand your points of view- that “later”’comments and Oliver’s disturction despite being free. It could be him struggling with his sexuality along with manipulative behavior that is ego driven. Oliver was definitely dismissive of Elio and yah why let a stranger sleep in your sons bed

Kevin 02/04/2020 16:21

:) Finally. Someone sensible. It's incredible how most spectators seem incapable of acknowledging even the smallest suspicious element in the story.

Kebbbiin 31/03/2020 17:53

What i got from this article is not a person who is criticizing an art but a homophobic gay person who is also attracted to the character of Elio. I think somehow in your life you have had experienced having an affair with someone who is younger than you... But ends up leaving you because they were were act straight... I don't know... I just got that vibe by the way you wrote your article... I was really interested in reading these article but you lost me at the part where you think Elio's mom is having sex with him... Hmmm maybe that came from your experiences and not from the movie....

Kevin 01/04/2020 05:36

I never said that Annella and Elio had sex together. I said "morbid relationship borderline incestuous." (On that matter, shame on you for the last sentence of your comment.)

You can try not to seriously consider my point by putting everything on a presumed personality/experience of mine all I can say is that I stand by what I wrote. If my arguments are flat out baseless for you then so be it.

There are more than 200 analysis of the kind on this website, If you read any other article you'll see that I really do not need to be a repressed homosexual or secretly attracted to Elio or anything of the kind, to say that Oliver is a manipulator and Elio his victim. I'm just honestly analyzing the movie.