You were the smart kid, because it was easier to stick a label on you than to try to understand and befriend you.

I’ve just seen a video called « You were the smart kid. So why do you feel so lost now » and was quite appalled by its content so I’d like to talk about it.

I could write pages about this profoundly fallacious demonstration and that’s why it’s going to be so hard to only write something short. But I have to accept that I will not be able to deconstruct everything of this 10 minutes video, it’s too long and too complex the result would be unreadable.

So, I’ll only make 20 remarks to make it short.

1- Intelligence or what a « smart kid » is, is never defined and the meaning behind the concepts evolves throughout the video according to the point being made. It creates a space where the narrator is always right to a certain extent. Spectators are made to focus on how what he says could be right and not on the fact that the argumentation is random, complacent and gratuitous.

2- For example, the video clearly focuses on « being intelligent » as a part of one’s identity. But it’s never clearly decided whether the kids we’re talking about truly are exceptionally intelligent or not. The argumentation moves from true intelligence (whatever that means) to perceived intelligence. The cognitive capacities are replaced by a social construct.

3- « Everyone else » is described as abstract perfection. The flaws of the « smart kid » are described as if they didn’t apply to everybody, when they actually do. "You don't raise your hand if you're not certain that you're right." This remark is used to oppose "smart kids" to "normal kids" when truly there's no reason why it should describe "smart kids" more than anybody else. It means nothing.

4- It is laughably stated that to connect with people, you have to have humility. This is abysmally ridiculous. Many people in our culture are atrocious snobs and still have a social life. Thinking yourself smart, when you are, is far from being the worst crime around. 

Social relationships are not ruled by pretty angels. If you agree with people, actively pretend to have similar tastes and your behavior serves their interest, many will like you. I'm not saying that it's a good solution, I'm just saying that pretending that people are good judges of your worth is pathetic. "You have to have humility." No. The author just want to sadistically shame the "smart kid", to tell him "You're in pain ? You're lonely ? It serves you right ! That's the price you have to pay for having been so arrogant !"    

5- The goal of the video is to deprive « smart kids » of any merit whereas normal kids are going to be put on a pedestal. It’s just bitter envious projection.

6- There’s a strong stress put on the idea that the smart kid isn’t even trying, his successes are effortless. Again, suddenly « everyone else » seems to be hardworking and deserving and not dreaming of getting everything without any effort. Many pupils work hard, many pupils do not work hard. Most people are lazy and cannot be used as a role model for a supposed smart kid who would succeed without any effort.

7- The video looks like an inferiority complex spread on a ten minutes rant. The « smart kid » is just an abstract idea that works according to the author’s desires.

8- The tendency to overanalyse everything when trying to make one’s social interactions work is forcefully described as "using intelligence to solve emotional problems" and therefore as destined to fail, when truly it’s just what everybody does. It’s normal. If you’re struggling with making friends or being appreciated, you just intellectualize things in order to understand what’s going on.

9- The point evolves into the idea that the growing « smart kid » lacks self esteem. The assumption is gratuitous.

10- This is a good example of the first point. It’s never clear what we’re talking about but because the conclusion is in the title, we’re not surprised to see it appear, even if doesn’t make sense. The idea that the smart kid will try and fail to fix his low self-esteem with rationality is just arbitrary.

11- Another convenient arbitrary statement : « for smart kids, emotional growth is often the one thing that got left behind. » Are the smart kids smart or is it just a social perception ? What is « emotional growth » ? Is it just a concept made of two words that work well together when it comes to discrediting smart kids ? Let me guess, everybody is fine when it comes to emotional growth, except the smart kid… the kid who was supposed to be ahead of the others, am I right ? Ho the irony !

12- Then there’s the jab taken at defensive arrogance and be warned : it’s the most isolating pattern you can fall into. This again, is a lie. Arrogance is not isolating. Popular, conformist, ultra snobbish and arrogant people are totally accepted and tolerated as long as they convey the idea of a similar world view, similar tastes, ambitions etc etc... The arrogance that isn't accepted is just people with different tastes who dare not like yours. They're so detestably arrogant !!!

13- The smart kid’s defensive arrogance is unacceptable because there’s a double standard. You’re already rejected and you just give an excuse to the people who reject you to reject you and keep a good conscience because « he’s arrogant. »

14- Also, the definition given of « arrogance » is far from being real arrogance.

15- The video never ever tackles group dynamics that rest upon scapegoating someone. Bullying. Cowardice. Vanity. If the smart kid exists, it’s because others need this entity, not the smart kid. They need the smart kid to project their frustration on a target for not being what they wish they were. It is made clear by the video how much the author is deluded when he tries to describe what it is to have good grades and be successful at school and stand out because of them.

16- Again at the end of the video, he tries to associate the « smart kid » with dynamics that actually are the ones of struggling arrogant pupils. « When your value is tied to how easily you succeed, you will do everything in your power to avoid effort, avoid failure ». This is the mind of a bad pupil who wish everything came easily, not the one of a pupil who manages to get good grades and knows what it is to actually know the answers because you’ve learnt them. Only the ones who fail think success is magic.

17- Then, there’s the very complacent lecture about what the smart kid should do : « So the fix is to build a new identity -not around being smart, but around being willing to grow. »

How are these two mutually exclusive ? In order to say what it pleasures him to say, the author has to simplify things to a fallacious degree. And also, what is an identity built around being willing to grow ? I’ll tell you what it is. It is the most humiliating thing the narrator could find to tell to these « smart kids » he envies so much, for some reason. What a delight ! Explaining them that they are immature, that they need to accept to grow !

Because, from an argumentative point of view, what is that supposed to mean ? That when you think being smart, reflecting upon things, learning, then you’re opposed to… growth ? Personally, my desire to be intellectually active is what drives me forward, what made me and makes me grow as an individual. And by grow, I mean truly change. I'm not the person I was ten years ago.

18- « You let yourself try things and be bad at them. » « You start showing up not to win, but to participate. » I thought we were talking about being intelligent. Suddenly it’s about always winning, about being perfect then… I noticed that anyway, when the video shifts to « arrogance » the definition of smart also become « the desire not to have any flaws. » Everything conflates into one big ball of nonsense. Because the meaning is just that the author wants to tell you that you’re just arrogant and you think you’re the best and you want to be better at everything and you should just step down from your pedestal.

19- « Because you don’t need to be the smarter person in the room to belong in it. »

This is a great sentence to summarize this bad video.

You do not need to be the smarter person in the room to belong in it, but if it is too clear that you actually are the smartest person in the room and that you do not abide by the same rules and tastes as the others, every little narcissist scum will jump at your throat to deprive you of your merits, humiliate you, destroy everything you say or do and force you to spit that you’re just arrogant, fake, and none of your qualities are real. Theirs are. You’re not better than them, they’re better than you… for not being better than you. And by the way, shut up, you have no friends and your life will be a failure… we’ll see to that.

I feel relieved, I was able to describe this video properly.